I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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