I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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