So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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