I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
