I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
