new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
