what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
