I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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