I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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