every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
