You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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