At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
