i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
