So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
