Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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