I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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