She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
