Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
