There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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