apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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