she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
