So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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