so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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