the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
