I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
