Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
