I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
