guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Randomize