Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize