he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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