Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
