So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
