I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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