Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
