playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
