I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
