Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
