Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize