Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
