if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My cat gives me a boner
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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