You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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