You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
