Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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