butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
