Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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