I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
