new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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