i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You need a sexual gate keeper
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
