12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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