If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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