i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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