I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize