never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize