I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
