she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
