He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
