You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
