sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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