They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I deserve this hangover.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
