the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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