last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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