Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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