Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
