i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
