I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
