if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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