it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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