lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
